just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize