So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
