ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
