My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The air was thick with penises
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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