You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In other news, I just burned my penis
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
