wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize