i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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