it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm always down for nudity.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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