Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
