True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have so many feelings about this burrito
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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