my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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