Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
