shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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