Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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