We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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