So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
