I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
