so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sorry my hands just texted you
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
