it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
