my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
