I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
