Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
