made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize