I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
