i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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