I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
