doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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