I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
nutella sex= disaster
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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