the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
