So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
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omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm having to shit out rocks
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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