I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm always down for nudity.
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