he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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