If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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