I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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