Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
