Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize