maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
