im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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