at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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