i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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