i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
