you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
