hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
