Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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