I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
