That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
