hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
