no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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