i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
