so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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