you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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