My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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