Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
