why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
