i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
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