I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
