Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
