oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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