His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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